


SnakeyWakey (NSFW) part of the #AwakeTheSnake celebration for the 1st July

by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Anal Sex, Awake The Snake, Aziraphale Is Trying (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale is a Little Shit (Good Omens), Comedy, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Enthusiastic Consent, Gay Sex, Good Omens Lockdown, M/M, Sex, crackfic, good morning Angel, good morning Crowley, it's ok to safeword out, may contain pineapples, reference to drug use but not actual drug use, snakey wakey, staged - Freeform, wakey snakey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:47:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25004125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrapheapchallenge/pseuds/GayDemonicDisaster
Summary: "I'm setting the alarm clock for July, goodnight, Angel."Crowley has been taking a nap. Aziraphale has been going a little bit bonkers with boredom, so decides to go around to wake up Crowley on the 1st of July. Shenanigans ensue, including sexy shenanigans. May contain pineapples, and possibly two carrots.Part of the #AwakeTheSnake celebration on twitter. Although I'm also up for #WakeySnakey #SnakeyWakey #GoodMorningCrowley #GoodMorningAngel #WakeUpCrowley as well. Take your pick.I wrote two fics for this occasion, much like I did for the lockdown video - one NSFW and one SFW, called "AwakeTheSnake", pick whichever you prefer, or enjoy both, they have different storylines.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 65
Kudos: 263
Collections: AwakeTheSnake, Crack Fic Comedy Porn





	SnakeyWakey (NSFW) part of the #AwakeTheSnake celebration for the 1st July

Crowley twitched in his sleep, tormented by pineapples, for some reason. Here came another one, dancing along in his dream. He stabbed it with a pencil and yelled at it. 

“You look like shit!”

The pineapple retreated. Next there was a flock of birds, and Aziraphale, running through them, his own wings spread wide, screaming at them incoherently. He was waving an empty wine bottle. 

Crowley’s dreams could get weird, sure, but he was pretty certain he hadn’t dropped acid before he went for a nap.

Aziraphale had turned to face him in the dream. “Did you drop acid, Crowley?”

“No, of course not!”

“Liar.”

“You wot?”

“Fucking liar. I’m going to call you that. That fucking liar…”

An insistent beeping finally broke through his consciousness. Crowley groaned and groped toward the bedside table, trying to hit his phone alarm. He only succeeded in swiping it off the table and heard it go skittering across the cold concrete floor, still with it’s strident, piercing alarm tone. He swore under his breath and lifted his fingers to snap, when it silenced abruptly, and was placed in his open hand. 

His eyes slammed wide open and met a pair of curious blue eyes in a smiling face beaming down at him from beside the bed.

“Good morning, Crowley, did you sleep well?”

The demon flailed wildly and tumbled backwards across the bed before landing in an untidy pile on the floor on the far side with an indignant squawk. 

“What the hell?”

Aziraphale set his book aside and placed it on the floor next to the chair he’d set up next to Crowley’s bed, and smiled broadly. 

“Lockdown restrictions have been eased, we’re allowed to visit one other person now, so I wanted to see you. I brought cake!” He reached under his chair for a plate and held it up proudly. A perfect Victoria sponge sat on it. Crowley blinked in confusion. 

“Aziraphale... “ Crowley struggled to his knees on the far side of the bed and rested his upper body on the rumpled sheets, scratching his hair with a grimace. “... Why the hell are you in my bedroom? Were you watching me  _ sleep _ ? How long have you  _ been  _ here for someone’s sake?” 

“Well after armageddon you gave me a key, remember? You told me something about  _ mi casa, tu casa  _ or something, I think it was Spanish, anyway, you told me to feel free to come over any time and make myself at home. I felt dreadful that you extended such a kind offer and yet I’d never taken you up on it, so decided that there was no time like the present. I came over, er, oh yes: two days ago, just in case you woke up early!”

There was a slightly manic look in the angel’s eyes. Crowley suspected that the isolation had possibly made him lose a marble or two. 

“Well yes, of course, I just didn’t think that logically extended to coming into my actual  _ bedroom _ , pulling up a chair and watching me  _ sleep _ .”

“You looked ever so peaceful, until the last few minutes anyway, you were twitching a bit just before you woke up.”

“Well yeah, I was being attacked by pineapples and a bird-obsessed angel with a wine bottle accusing me of taking drugs.”

“Pardon?”

“Never mind. WHY?”

“I wanted to make sure you didn’t oversleep. I’ve been a little, er…”

“A little ‘er…’  _ what _ , Aziraphale?” 

“... Lonely?...Without... you?”

“We’ve literally gone  _ centuries  _ without talking before, Aziraphale, why d’you get all bent out of shape over me taking a nap now?”

“Well there’s never really been any situation quite like ‘now’ before, Crowley. I mean, we had Armageddon, we were just getting into the swing of relaxing without having to watch our backs, spending time together, and then the entire world just went… well…”

“Point taken.” He softened slightly, still trying to marshal his thoughts. He still hadn’t quite got the idea of why Aziraphale was in his bedroom instead of, perhaps waiting in the lounge or the study. Aziraphale looked so unlike his usual self. He crawled back onto the bed and sat up against the headboard. “Talk to me. No, wait…” He snapped and the coffee machine in the kitchen turned on. “Right, lemme get a coffee, and  _ then  _ talk.”

Crowley laid his head back against the headboard as Aziraphale went through to the kitchen to cut the cake up and dish it out onto plates, fetch Crowley’s coffee and get himself a cup of tea, then brought the lot back to the bedroom with a bright smile. “Here we are.” He laid the tray on the bed and Crowley gulped at the scalding hot black coffee gratefully. 

“Right. What’s up, Angel?”

Aziraphale sipped his tea and swallowed, looking distinctly uncomfortable. 

“I missed you.”

“Yup, I got that much.”

“And I’ve had a lot of time to myself to think about things, you see. Rather a lot, in fact.”

“Mmm?”

“Yes. And we’ve wasted so much time and it rather drove it home to me about how much more time I’d been wasting since Armageddon, instead of getting a dashed wiggle on and just getting on with it.”

“With what?”

Aziraphale set his cup down with a quiet chink of china on the concrete floor. 

“You.”

“You’ve lost me there, Angel.”

“Crowley, we’ve known each other for over six thousand years. In that time we have saved each other’s derrières on countless occasions, we’ve helped each other out, we’ve had innumerable meals together, been to plays, operas, ballets, cinemas, museums, and art galleries. We’ve visited National Trust sites, scenic views, taken drives in the Bentley through the countryside, gone to the beach. We’ve taken woodland walks, picnics, and you’ve fallen asleep on my sofa more times than I can remember. We’ve got rascally drunk and talked utter nonsense all night, laughed ourselves silly, commiserated over each other’s troubles, and, in short, always been there for one another.”

“Well, yes, of course.”

“We’ve been at each other’s sides for better or worse for millennia. We know each other better than any other two creatures on this entire planet ever could, well enough to even fool heaven and hell when we impersonated each other. We have drifted apart on occasion only to come colliding back together and picking up again as if nothing ever happened between us. You forgive me my foolishness… Dash it all, Crowley… we  _ care  _ about each other!”

Crowley sipped more coffee, cautiously, trying not to let his hand shake as he did. 

“You’re not wrong,” he said, guardedly, eyes locked on the angel’s every move now. 

“Crowley, could you bear to be away from me, forever? Because I couldn’t bear to be away from you.”

“Well, no. ‘Course not, Angel.” The very thought sent a panicked flash of fear down the demon’s spine. 

“Well, then. There you have it.” Aziraphale announced, proudly. 

Crowley gave him a long, blank look. 

“It?”

Aziraphale sighed and rolled his eyes theatrically. 

“Crowley, I love you. Are my feelings reciprocated?”

“Fuck me...” Crowley exhaled in shock.

“Not yet, dear. Do you feel the same?”

Crowley blinked several times, eyes darting around in confusion. 

“Well of  _ course  _ I fucking do, Aziraphale, I  _ always  _ bloody have! Hang on.. Wait.. back up.. Whaddya mean _ ‘not yet’? _ ”   


“Well I wanted your answer first, dear boy.”

“Az… Aziraphale… uh, that… phrasing kind of implies that, um… carnal relations are, er… on the table?” 

“Well I’d rather hoped so but only if that’s also what you’d like, darling. I wouldn’t want you to do anything you didn’t want, of course.”

“Oh, I  _ want _ .” Crowley replied, snakebite-quick. “Wanted a very bloody long time.”

“Well I  _ am  _ glad to hear that.” Aziraphale’s smile was heart melting. Crowley gave a nervous little laugh and felt his heart fluttering madly in his chest, suddenly feeling very lightheaded indeed. He reached over carefully and lifted the tray from the bed, moving it with shaking hands to the bedside table instead. Aziraphale rose from his chair, and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, he waited patiently while Crowley’s face ran a gamut of emotions. 

Finally, Crowley looked up, his golden eyes meeting the angel’s dusty blue ones. 

“Aziraphale… may I kiss you?”

“Of course, my love.”

Crowley shifted forward on hands and knees, first tentatively reaching out to stroke the angel’s soft pale curls. They were as soft as he’d always imagined. 

“Crowley?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry, got distracted. Always wanted to do that…”   


“You may do it as often as you desire, darling.”

Crowley licked his lips nervously, then swayed forward and brought their lips together, still not quite sure this was real, maybe he was still dreaming. Maybe he was? Well who cares? If he was, it was an awesome dream and he was going to enjoy it to its fullest before he woke up. 

Aziraphale leaned forward, and Crowley was able to rock back to sit on his own heels, kneeling on the bed, one hand still in the angel’s hair. He felt Aziraphale’s hands coming up to embrace him, pulling them together and deepening the gentle kiss to something more passionate. Strong arms were around his waist, hands bunched in his black silk pyjamas. Crowley felt like he might faint. 

Aziraphale lifted off for a moment, breathless and flushed, gazing into Crowley’s eyes. 

“Is this alright, Crowley?”

“More than alright, Angel. You’re a bloody dream come true, just carry on like this and don’t attack me with a wine bottle and we’ll be fine.”

“I’ll try not to.” Aziraphale looked down and tugged gently at the top button of Crowley’s pyjama shirt, a question in his movements. Crowley let his arms drop to his sides in invitation, and the angel methodically undid each button in turn, then slid the garment open, hands feather light over Crowley’s chest, pushing the top off his shoulders so it fell behind him. Crowley drew a shuddering breath. Aziraphale was touching him, running fingers over his skin, every touch tingled like electricity, every nerve ending alive and yearning for that touch that he’d wanted for thousands of years. 

“Angel?”

“Mmm? Oh, yes, of course…” Aziraphale quickly shrugged off his waistcoat, his jacket had evidently been discarded when he entered the flat anyway, and placed it on the seat next to them. Crowley reached for his shirt buttons, then leaned forward to kiss him some more while he undid them and shoved the pale blue shirt off his strong shoulders in turn, before flinging it with one hand in the vague direction of the chair. He wrapped his angel in a strong embrace, thrilling at feeling their naked chests pressed together. 

He shuffled forwards on his knees, bringing their hips together as well, feeling his cock stiffening, and gratified to feel Aziraphale’s doing the same through his trousers. He broke off to taste more of his angel, kissing and licking at his neck. 

“Aziraphale,” he whispered into his skin, “may I touch you?” His hands skimmed a little lower to clarify his meaning, but resolutely staying above the belt for the moment. 

“Please do,” Aziraphale murmured back, nose buried in Crowley’s short red hair, revelling in his scent and softness. His own hand sank lower to squeeze at the demon’s perfectly tight arse in turn, as Crowley’s hand slid between them to palm at Aziraphale’s hardness through the fabric with a moan, echoed by the angel at the touch. Crowley’s cock twitched in response, achingly hard now. 

He fumbled at the buttons, fingers feeling clumsy in his nervous haste to feel more of his lover. Aziraphale’s hands were then between them, gently nudging his own aside, to undo the trousers himself. He then took one of Crowley’s hands in his own and guided it into his underwear with a low moan. Crowley’s head fell forward onto the angel’s shoulder as he groped and squeezed gently, feeling every inch of that gorgeous and girthy cock under his fingers. 

“Fuck, Angel… you’re gonna discorporate me at this rate.”

“Oh I do hope not, darling, you feel far too good.” Aziraphale tugged at the elasticated waistband of Crowley’s pyjama bottoms and slid them down off his hips, squeezing at the demon’s buttocks again, then bringing a hand between them to mirror Crowley’s movements, but then paused to pull his own cock from his underwear properly, shoving his trousers down further before taking Crowley in hand and stroking gently, as the demon’s gentle fingers wrapped around his length again in a loving caress. 

Their lips found each other again, tongues questing and delirious contented noises emanating from both of them. Crowley felt himself overbalancing and suddenly they were tumbling on the bed together, the angel underneath him, their legs tangled in trousers and pyjamas around ankles. They laughed and broke off for a moment to shed the rest of their clothing in a frenzied hurry before Crowley rolled back on top of his angel and sucked a possessive love bite into his deliciously soft neck, as Aziraphale’s strong hand stroked his cock between them. 

“Aziraphale… fuck, Angel, do... d’you want more than this? Can I…” He didn’t want to say ‘fuck you,’ that felt far too sordid for what he intended, despite their urgency. He kissed his angel a bit more while he ground against him, trying to put the words together. “Can I make love to you?”

“Please do, darling,  _ please  _ do.”

“Right…” Crowley thought for a second, then rolled off and fumbled in the drawer of the bedside table for a bottle of lube. “Is it ok if I relax you a bit first?” Aziraphale nodded and dragged a pillow under his hips, spreading his legs in invitation. Crowley knelt between them and slicked up his fingers, reaching down to massage the tight ring of muscle before cautiously pressing forth. He kept his other hand on his lover’s shaft, moving steadily. Aziraphale closed his eyes and tipped his head back on the pillows with a luxuriant groan of pleasure at the combined sensations. 

Crowley went gently, taking his time, drinking in the beauty of his angel laid out before him. He was beginning to realise that this was no dream, and faltered at the thought. 

_ Shit, this is really happening. Fucking hell. He’s really mine. I’m really his. Fuck… _

He tried to concentrate, withdrew his hand and applied a little more lube before adding another finger, bending them up slightly to softly massage at the angel’s prostate, teasing little circles now and then. 

“Is this ok, Aziraphale?” Crowley murmured softly, kissing his raised knee tenderly, still entranced by the gorgeousness of his angel, so pliant in his hands. 

“Absolutely.”

“You’ll tell me if it’s not, won’t you?”

“Of course, the same goes for you, Crowley.”

“Yeah.” He paused. “You’re fucking beautiful, you know that, right?” The demon applied more lube and a third finger to the task. Aziraphale blushed. “I mean it, you’re gorgeous, you always have been. Your soul is stunning, it’s just so damn dazzling it’s almost blinding on the ethereal plane. I just look there sometimes, I can see you swirling away there, all celestial power coiled up and spinning, shining on me all the time. It’s like sitting under a sun lamp, soaking up all the warmth.”

Crowley pushed a little deeper and Aziraphale gasped out, grinding down on his hand eagerly, and a bead of precome formed at the tip of his cock. Crowley kissed his thighs alternately as he worked both hands in the middle. “And your corporation is beautiful too, y’know. Amazing, so perfect for me….” He laid down more kisses in a reverent trail up Aziraphale’s thigh until he reached his cock, then flicked out his tongue to lick at it with a wicked smile. “And you’re delicious too.”

He wrapped his lips around his lover, keeping his hand moving below, licking and sucking him down to the root and up again, tongue never stilling, flickering and fluttering with sinful talent until Aziraphale’s cries couldn’t be contained any more and he began to let go, wriggling on the sheets in delight. With one hand free again, Crowley took himself in hand, feeling Azirpahale loosen up around his fingers, he was aching to move on, but didn’t want to rush his angel. 

Crowley lifted off for a moment. “Are you ready for more? Ready for me?”

“I think so, just go slowly, won’t you?”

“Of course, beautiful. I’d never hurt you for anything, you know that, right?” Aziraphale nodded with another heart melting smile. Crowley slid his fingers out, dispensed some more lube and slathered it over his length, and positioned himself between his angel’s legs, nudging gently, then pushing forward with a gasp. He paused, and laid one hand on Aziraphale’s cock again, stroking him slowly to keep him relaxed as he pushed further in, inch by inch. 

Aziraphale’s breath caught in his throat and he winced slightly. Crowley stopped immediately. “Aziraphale? What’s wrong? Too much?” Aziraphale swallowed and shifted his hips slightly, apparently considering if he could make it more comfortable.

“I.. um. Yes. I’m dreadfully sorry, Crowley, yes, it’s too much, I’m so sorry, it is a bit uncomfortable, I didn’t know what it would… I mean to say, you’re rather, er… large, you see, and…”

Crowley cut him off by bending forward to kiss him. “Shhh, it’s ok. It’s not your fault, I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m going to pull out now, really slow and gentle, ok? Just breathe slow, try to relax your muscles, ok? Ready?” Azirpahale took a breath and nodded. Crowley rocked his hips back carefully and disengaged, then laid next to his angel and kissed him more, stroking his chest. 

“I’m sorry, Angel, I didn’t want to hurt you at all.”

“It’s alright Crowley, I wanted to try, but maybe that’s not for me, or maybe just not yet. Could I do something for you perhaps?”

“Well, if you wanted, you could do that to me, if you prefer? I enjoy it, if you think you would.”

“Oh Crowley,” Aziraphale kissed him, “yes, I think I should like to try that, if you’re sure?”

“I’m sure, Angel. Don’t worry about it. D’you want to try using your fingers in me first, or would you prefer me to do it?”

“Well I think I have the general idea, pass me that lube, would you?”

Crowley laid back and relaxed his legs, watching his beautiful angel with adoration written all over his face. Aziraphale caressed Crowley’s slim thighs, then tentatively explored with his fingers, trying to replicate what the demon had done for him. “Is this alright, Crowley?”

“Nnngh, yeah, just… a little slower… yeah, that’s it, perfect. Perfect...mmm.” Crowley rolled his head back and reached down to stroke his own cock at the same time, keeping it slow, his movements languid, then gazed up at Aziraphale again, smiling as he watched his lover at work between his legs. “You’re good at that, Angel,” he murmured. “Just, curl your finger up a little more, bit more, yeah! Feel that? Just circle that area a little, yessssss, that’s it, keep going, not too much, yeah… that’s right. Fuck you’re good.”

Crowley stilled his own hand when Aziraphale’s caresses became a bit too intense. He didn’t want to come too soon. “Ease off that spot a little now, Aziraphale,” he moaned. “Just concentrate on stretching a bit now, ok? Another finger for a bit then I’ll be good.”

Aziraphale carried on a little longer, as Crowley rocked his hips in time with his hand, chewing on his lower lip and occasionally hissing gently. “Yes, that’s it, you ready for me too, Aziraphale? You can have me now, please…”

The angel slid his fingers out and readied his cock, a little nervous and worrying that he might hurt Crowley, pushing in gently. He paused when the demon groaned, but Crowley grabbed at his arm and nodded urgently. “Keep going, it’s good, so good…” Aziraphale pushed in further, mind reeling at the hot tightness wrapped around him. He gritted his teeth as he sank deeper, an incoherent noise low in his throat as his hips came flush up against his lover’s and both of them gasped out. 

“Crowley… I...I..” Aziraphale couldn’t even assemble a sentence, he drew a shuddering breath and tried again. “...You’re incredible. I’ve never felt anything like this before, you’re amazing Crowley…” The demon smirked up at him. 

“If you think that’s good, start moving.” He winked and bucked his hips slightly, punching a surprised exhalation from the angel and his hands gripped onto Crowley’s thighs tightly as he dropped his head and moaned indecently. He recollected himself, then began to move his hips slowly, eyes closed tight and mouth open as he struggled to take in all of the delicious sensations at once. Crowley laughed and wrapped his long legs around his angel’s hips, encouraging him to move faster. 

Aziraphale was breathing hard, hips moving faster. “Crowley, I need to hold you closer…” He lowered himself down against Crowley’s lean chest, nosing against his neck, kissing everywhere in reach. He lifted his head a little to kiss his lover’s lips hard and urgent as he kept thrusting, before breaking off to kiss up his cheek and nip at his earlobe, breath ragged. Crowley wrapped his arms around the angel’s body, ankles behind his buttocks, pulling him deeper and whimpering with every thrust. 

Crowley’s cries became higher pitched and his breaths shorter, until he tensed up and came between them with a shudder and a drawn-out wail. Aziraphale’s eyes flew wide at the suddenly intense tightness gripping around him, his body suddenly exploding into its own orgasm. He yelped out Crowley’s name as he came as well, thrusting deeper, muscles quivering. 

He lay, wrapped tight in the demon’s embrace, breathing hard against his neck, their bodies hot and sweaty, and utterly spent. “Oh Crowley… my love… that was,” he took a breath. “... Indescribable.” Crowley kissed his angel’s cheek fondly and stroked his back. 

“Aziraphale, you’re all I ever wanted, and you’re perfect. I love you.” The angel kissed him again, then carefully withdrew and lay back next to Crowley. He reached out and took his hand. They stared at the ceiling together. 

“Aziraphale… I’m not still dreaming am I?”

“No.”

“Thank fuck for that.”

“So what have you been  _ doing  _ here for the past two days?”

“Reading mostly, but I did get restless and go to see if I could bake another cake here. I had a rummage in the kitchen but I could only find two carrots in your fridge and not much else.”

“Could have made a really small carrot cake?”

“No eggs, or flour.”

“Damn. A really small, very healthy, gluten and egg-free carrot cake then?”

“So… you mean a carrot?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Maybe we should get takeout.”

“Good plan.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to read my SFW fic for today click here: [AwakeTheSnake](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25004713)
> 
> * * *
> 
> Y'know what? Consent is sexy, and there's no shame in safewording out when something isn't going as you expected or something is uncomfortable, or Frances McDormand forbid, painful. Don't carry on with something just to please your partner if it's causing you discomfort. If your partner cares for you, they'd rather you let them know than carry on and not enjoy things. 
> 
> I realised that you don't see enough of that in fics so wanted to include it in one at last. These two ineffable idiots love each other, and yes I like to HC a very well hung Crowley (as do many of us), that can't be comfortable sometimes, so I wanted to have a situation where Aziraphale feels safe to decline something because he's not ready for it yet, and for Crowley to absolutely support him in that. 
> 
> I realise that I didn't actually set up a specific safeword, but the dialogue can stand in for it. Communication can take many forms, but nopeing out of something can still count as safewording out even if no actual "safeword" was used. 
> 
> As a disabled person with chronic pain, there are times when I can do things, and times that I can't. Sometimes activities hurt too much to do, sometimes they hurt a little bit but I personally am ok with that level of pain, I get to choose what my limits are, and you should too. It doesn't have to even be pain or physical discomfort - if you ever feel that you don't want to carry on with something, regardless of the reason, you have the right to say no, and owe nobody any explanation.


End file.
